A Testament.

My shadow is a testament to my being here in Los Angeles pursuing my Master’s degree and not dreaming about it back in India, in my bed in the middle of the night. It makes me excited and anxious simultaneously as I am living my dream. What was once a dream is now a reality, but now I have new dreams and goals. That is how life works. The theme that I’m exploring in this series is being present in a place, physically being present. The series shows someone trying to feel present in a new city by looking at their shadows. I come from a country with the highest population in the world, and my city is one of the most crowded cities. I could barely even notice my shadows there; coming here where my shadow is distinctly visible makes me want to keep looking at it all the time. Sometimes, it makes me feel lonely, as if I’m screaming and there is no one to listen to me. Back home, I was constantly busy as people continually surrounded me. Only things physically present in a place can cast a shadow over it. Shadows give presence to ideas of belonging and existing in a place, regardless of my acceptance my presence here in Los Angeles. I have not changed the time of one of my watches; it still runs on Indian Standard Time. It makes me feel close to home; I do not want to lose what I had in India, and at the same time, I want to have what the US has to offer me.

Shadows are omnipresent, and no one can escape them. Shadows are ambiguous. Shadows do not have a color. Hence, color is a distraction in this project; just like the yin-yang ball, Black and white symbolize the sense of belonging and not belonging. Two opposites put together to make something whole, my feelings of belonging to both lands make me whole. The series is faceless; it could be anyone. All the images in the series have the subject standing, which shows that the subject is uncomfortable in their place and situation. Always ready to move, restless, constantly trying to find a home, maybe there is no home, or maybe there is a home everywhere, I don’t see it. The contrast is enormously high as I’m screaming and yelling to myself that I’m here. Whenever I walk the streets of Los Angeles, I compare and contrast the two places: Mumbai and Los Angeles. Lastly, I’m laying the series on the floor, which will make the viewer bend down to look at it; bending down inculcates a feeling of surrender and humbleness.