Potty About
This free verse is composed of sentences and phrases pulled from the letters I wrote to my lost love, letters I never sent. Because I couldn't. I have tried to capture the chaos of unresolved love with a sense of rawness. I wrote it to express my creative juices for my ongoing collage project: a heartfelt exploration of love, loss, and longing.
Maybe I’m over you,
but the idea of you puts me back
in the same time, the same space.
You were perfect. We were perfect, my cozy cozy polar bear.
You touched parts of my soul no one ever has,
and you saw me as no one ever saw.
You gave me strength—
I hope you come to know that, someday, somehow.
Maybe I want to protect my love for you.
I don’t want anyone to tell me the truth.
I keep you locked in my chest, my secret
How will I ever find you?
I never even speak of you.
My heart still aches for you.
I’m alive because of you.
I don’t believe in love anymore. I’m afraid.
You opened me to the world,
but now I’m tired of not being able to be with you.
I don’t want to be with you—
but I want to be with you.
What do I do? Can you tell me? Please?
I command you to answer me.
That’s the least I need—
though I have so many more demands for you.
Are you still dreaming of someone like me?
Please stay this way, away.
Don’t ever come back into my life.
Send me a love letter instead.
Every love song reminds me of you,
reminds me of us.
I don’t want you. I want you.
I keep looking for you every day.
I keep avoiding you every day.
Golden burnt dust blinds me—
it’s water under the bridge.
I sound like a crazy lover.
Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not.
Maybe I’m just a lover.
Maybe I’m just crazy.
I’m the wildcat to your wild stallion.
I forgive you.
I forgive myself.
I forgive us.
My love is unconditional.
Love cannot be conditional—
if it is, it’s a contract.
Please, send me a picture of you.
I don’t want to forget you.
I want you here with me—
but I don’t want you here with me.
I want to stop thinking about you,
but I am potty about you.
I am potty about us.
The project shows the juxtaposition of desire and bitterness. The project conveys the vulnerability and internal conflict. The push-and-pull of wanting and not wanting someone feels deeply human. The project is open-ended, like the free verse. Photographs of the collage project will be soon shared in the “Projects” section of my website. The physical collage project will be available upon request for display.
